Digital Mandala

Playlist.

prophecygrrl — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 04:55:19 +0000

Here is a great little playlist for all you cardio fans out there. It pepped up my run/walk just fine!

* ” This Could Be Love” Alkaline Trio – Because who said a song about dismembering someone wouldn’t make a good running song. Not I, my friend. Not I.

* ” Let Go” Frou Frou – When I started running for my own mental health, last October, this song came on at the end of a good run and I cried.

* ” Walking With A Ghost” Tegan and Sara – Power walk with attitude.

* “Coffee and Cigarettes” Augustana – Time to stretch and think about how you have grown as a person.

* “Spiderwebs” Walk. Sprint. Walk. Sprint. Repeat.

* “Stronger” Britney Spears – Honestly, when this song came on I started thinking about what I was going to do for the blog swap.

* ” Nothing Better” The Postal Service – Remember that you had very good reasons for breaking up with anyone you have ever dumped and be happy about who and where you are now.

* “Hell” Squirrel Nut Zippers – Swing your ass while you walk.

I felt pretty good after listening to those great songs while I got my daily dose of exercise.

Swap.

prophecygrrl — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 18:54:30 +0000

So the ever so lovely Rachel had the awesome idea to pair up all her blogger friends and have them send each other souvineirs from where they live. You can only spend $15 and you have two weeks to get the package in the mail. I’m excited! This is going to be quite the exercise in creativity since I have to come up with something cool that represents Oklahoma.

I already have an idea but I’m not telling!!!! I hope that This Guy in LA likes it.

Temptation.

prophecygrrl — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 20:00:22 +0000

I have been doing fine for the last three days. Not too many temptations that couldn’t be quelled by a small amount of dark chocolate chips that only equal like…. half a point. Not even the tiny bite of my boyfriend’s melt-in-your-mouth McDonald’s Double Cheeseburger was enough to make me stray from the veggies and Lean Cusine path. Sure I’ve gone over my points just about every day but that’s why they give you those extra ones you can stretch out for the whole week. But today….not five minutes ago this

walked by me. And somehow the image I found is strangely life size. I want one. I don’t know why I want one. I never ever eat at Wendy’s and I don’t even like ice cream that much but right now I want that Frosty soooo bad. I wonder how many points it is…I promise my next post won’t be so shallow…I think.

Watching.

prophecygrrl — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 04:40:50 +0000

My weight that is. Yes, dear readers, my mother has convinced me to try Weight Watchers…If you are anything like me Weight Watchers brings to mind a time in the early nineties when scrunchies were awesome and bike short were still in. My mom used to go the the meetings when I was little. That I’m not doing. No meetings for me but the rest of it I do enjoy. If you somehow missed the whole Weight Watchers phenomenon then let me explain. Each food (and I mean every fucking thing you could possibly eat) has a “points value.” You get a certain amount of points based on your weight and you can only eat that many points each day. Sound lame right? Here’s what I like about it. It makes you think about what you are putting in your mouth. No more blind eating. Not only does this force you to be healthier but it also connects with my goal to focus on Buddhism.

In Buddhism you have to pay attention to what you eat. Most Buddhists are vegetarians because of this. I don’t think I’m quite ready for that leap but I will be sometime this year. So anyway now a diet that once seemed lame is now helping me get myself healthier.

Observations.

prophecygrrl — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 18:31:09 +0000

Sometimes I feel like I observe more than I participate. I observe the people at school and work and ….the mall or where ever I happen to be. School is interesting. When you are sitting a your computer staring at the screen, no one expects that you are silently listening to their conversation. I love to hear what the people around me are thinking. It’s amusing to say the least. They talk about the most inane things. This, more than anything else, helps me reflect on the words that come out of my own mouth. I’m sure that I have some of these same stupid conversations and I don’t even realize how stupid and shallow I sound.

I have faltered big time with my Buddhist studies. I feel like I don’t have a good structure but I am sure the day will come when I have a nine to five job and then I’ll feel like I have too much structure. Where is the happy medium here? I just want to be able to do that little list of goals on a regular basis without wavering. I need better self control. Maybe when I move my life won’t seem so chaotic and the boyfriend and myself can just have our little haven with our cats and one snake and the mice and soon a bearded dragon. So basically the “little zoo.” Is it possible to love animals too much?

I realize this has been very disjointed and not as well thought out as my other blogs. All I can say is “Welcom to my Brain.”

WalMart

prophecygrrl — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 01:18:59 +0000

Has “Gone Green.” I bought one of their reusable shopping bags. Yay!

20 Something.

prophecygrrl — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 16:30:44 +0000

After I wrote my last post I started thinking more about my generation. I wish that I could interview 20 Somethings around the country to get a better perspective. I always wonder what our generation will be marked by. I know what we are marked by now. So far we have the largest terrorist attack on American soil and school shootings. We have celebrity breakdowns and reality T.V. On the other hand we have the Green Revolution and a better sense of technology. We are a generation divided. I suppose every generation is divided in some way.

One thing I have noticed is the perception of our generation. When I think of 20 Somethings I think of the episode of Sex and the City that centers on the difference between the 20s and the 30s. It was that episode that made me realize this show was not written for me. That’s okay I like it anyway but I digress. In that episode 20 Something “girls” were reviled. They didn’t like them because they were younger and newer and more free. Perhaps that is why I keep hearing horror stories about people my age going to internships in New York and L.A. and getting the stink eye they whole time for being the “lowly interns.” We are just newer. We are the future now and the generations before us look to us for what is to come. That’s scary. I don’t think anyone my age is ready for that pressure.

When I was twelve I desperately wanted to be part of “Gen X.” I listened to Nirvana and wore baggy jeans and wished that I had been old enough to know what was going on in 1994. Now, however, I’m glad that I’m 23 and not turning 35 with a boring job and a kid and all that. I’m glad I didn’t grow up in a time when sex was scary and I’m glad to say that I have never known anyone who died of AIDS. As much as I love “RENT” I’m so glad that that is not me. So as stressful and crazy as my life seems sometimes, I’m glad I have my life and my generation to look forward to. I think we will do something great. We just have to get over reality T.V. first.

Update.

prophecygrrl — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 18:50:30 +0000

Last week I took the week off. I didn’t run. I didn’t blog. I barely went to class and I wouldn’t have gone to work if I could afford it. I suppose I was depressed, though at the time I didn’t realize it. Sometimes I feel like everything is happening too fast and not fast enough all at once and it just builds and builds. I suppose a lot of members of my generation feel this way.

There is a group I am part of online called “20 Something Bloggers.” Through this group I have found other blogs to read. These people are all very different than myself and from each other but we are bound together by our compulsion to write and by the generation we belong to. We are a generation marked by the 1/4 Life Crisis, that tumultuous time when you are trying to hold on to the past and transition into the future. I am constantly asking myself “What am I going to do with my life?” “Where am I going?” “Who am I?.” All these questions I ask and answer and re-ask. I am in a sort of limbo and I think a lot of my peers feel the same way.

Our generation was in high school when blogging became big. For me it is not about sounding like a great writer or being really funny. Those things are great when I can achieve them but it is more a kind of therapy. Here I can write down a few of the million or so things that run through my head each day. It helps me sort things out. Of course not everything gets put here. Some stays in my head and some is left to short stories or my other journals but what does go here is just as important to me as anything else. I encourage anyone having these problems to write stuff down. Not only does it help sort things out but it is a chronicle of your life. It’s been too long since I let things out here. Expect many more in the next few days.

Spring.

prophecygrrl — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 00:26:53 +0000

So there is the park near my house. I have always thought it was the “bohemian” park of my little college town. Mainly because it sits right next to a cute little art gallery that used to be a firehouse. They show art but they have art classes as well. It is also less than a block away from a great natural foods store.

I always run from my house to the park and then run around it and back. Today there were tons of people there. A group of high school guys were playing Ultimate Frizbee, some seven year olds had a game of soccer going on and there were about five people with their dogs. It was a great environment to run in. Even though I didn’t know anyone there, I felt like I was friends with all of them. That kind of sounds lame but it really is like a community. I love it. I love it so much that I took a couple of extra laps around the park and then stretched in the grass before heading back to my house.

When I move to the city in June I’ll have to find a new park. That makes me sad but it is something I have to do, for now anyway. I’m sure I’ll come back here someday and maybe I can buy a house in that neighborhood and be part of it again. I’m really going to miss this town. More than I’m willing to admit. This has been my home for almost four years. I never liked the town that I graduated high school in and my parents have moved away from there since then anyway. This town is now my home and I will be very sad to leave it. I’m even a little scared, but I guess that is what life is about. You do something new. You have new experiences and things are constantly changing.

Goals.

prophecygrrl — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 22:37:01 +0000

Sometimes I feel like there are too many things that I want to do and not enough time or energy to do them. I would like to be superwoman and accomplish all of them with ease but somehow that is not me. For now I will just compartmentalize my thoughts in a list. I love lists. I want to:

* Be a good runner

* Study and practice Buddhism

* Make jewelry for myself and others

* Write. I just want to fucking write.

* Paint, Draw, Sculpt and a number of other arts

* Do yoga. Daily.

* Spend adequate time with each of my good friends and my family.

* Work at a job that allows me to pay all my bills with ease as well as leaves a good amount left over for savings and fun.

* Read. Read. Read. Read. I just bought “On the Road” I haven’t really been able to start it yet.

This is only a small list but I always feel like I never have enough time to do all those things. Someday my schedule will not include school and then maybe I’ll succeed. Until then I juggle. I juggle my goals and myself and hope for the day when I can do it all. Someday I’ll be Wonder Woman. Maybe for Halloween.